Why Should I Change? They’re The Ones That Suck

Facebook kept recommending that I become a fan of “365 Things To Do In Austin, Texas.” For various reasons, I kept refusing. I’ve been in Austin for six years now and I have quite a grasp on what to do now and whenever I’m at a loss, Austin360 or Do512 show me the way. So after looking at my tagcloud and noticing that “Austin” stuck out a lot more than the few other tags, I realized that I’d been starting to go in the direction of a blog that documents Austin happenings. While my blog really does not have a particular structure or main topic, I never wanted to fall into that same trap. I created MyMisplacedPants because it is fun to have digital real estate, not to become some Blog authority on some subject.

So imagine my surprise when I finally decided to click on over to www.365thingsaustin.com. They have the same WordPress layout!

This is how Michael Bolton in Office Space must have felt. So I wonder, should I change my look or should I just let it be?

My apologies for blogging about a blog.

When in Austin…Smile for the Camera

So this weekend, (Thursday night will always be the weekend for me) I enjoyed some beverages in celebration of a few things. Thursday night was the Rare magazine website launch party. After the Dos Equis ran out, I went out to another Austin bar. So when a camera was put in mine and my friend’s faces, we struck a pose and smiled.

The next night I participated in the first ever St. Arnold Pub Crawl in Austin. 4 bars in 4 hours. So when an iPhone toting podcaster asked me questions, I answered. It was none other than Terri Grier from WhenInAustin. (To my excitement, I was quoted. So listen closely for my quotes).

This is the digital age at its best. So many people social networking and generating media for others to see online. And rather than it all being faceless behind a computer screen, it all began with real people having real interactions.

Sometimes I Don’t Mind Being Lied To

CBS threw a serious curve ball by placing Undercover Boss after the Super Bowl instead of any of their catalogue of shows with The Who theme songs. The premise involves CEO’s of various corporations going undercover and working at the front-lines of their operations. It’s a classic fish-out-of-water trope, except that the writers (read: editors) decided that instead of playing up the wacky situations ensue, they tug on the heartstrings. I mean, CEO’s are people too. Rich, decision-making and completely out of touch with their companies, but still, people.

This week I was asked to suspend my belief that the CEO of Hooter’s would be comfortable with any of his two daughters becoming Hooter’s girls. I was supposed to suspend my belief that he was unaware that post-feminist types find the outfit and innuendos to be degrading to women. And you know what, I did.

The show wants me to believe that the Hawthorne effect is not in play and that the people on-camera truly behave the way they do when there isn’t a camera and boom mic in their face. A great example came in this weeks episode. The highlight was Jimbo, the manager of an Arlington, Texas restaurant. The inevitable abuse of power came as he objectified the Hooter’s girls and forced them in a bean-eating contest for the rights to go home early. Our undecover CEO sees everything and refuses to step in and not blow his cover. By episode’s end, Jimbo gets scolded and the CEO is the freedom fighter for all disenfranchised Hooter’s girls across the world.

It may seem that I am being terribly critical about the show, but in this economic climate, I am willing to suspend my belief and take in the propaganda that CEO’s everywhere care, you know, if properly exposed to the crappy policies they’ve created for the sake of a bottom line. It puts forward that executives are out of touch with how their companies work.

And this is what got me thinking that maybe the CEO’s job is to stay ignorant. Maybe their job is to make the most macro decisions for the sake of the value of stock and detach themselves as it may tear them apart to see the faces of the folks on the losing end.

Maybe not. But CBS’ bountiful outlet for PR lies to me. The trite arcs that get wrapped up in 45 minutes or less (or it’s free) and leave me to believe that maybe that company is going to get better have won me over. They sell me a reality I’m happier living within.

I’m buying it.

Stray Observations:

The CEO of Hooter’s could have done some strong market research by interviewing me when I was 10. While on the San Antonio Riverwalk, I suggested that the males grab a bite to eat at Hooter’s, while the women grab a bite at Dick’s. Clearly, I missed the context of the word but at least I was all about gender equality.

That story becomes more disturbing when you realize I was making this suggestion exclusively to family.

The Hooter’s that Jimbo manages was frequented by me, my girlfriend and her brother once. They must really like games at that location because her brother and I played a game that required us to race in who could slurp up Hooter’s brand of energy drink from a bowl using a spoon the fastest. He ended up winning 5 free wings that I think he made a good home for. I have it on good authority, though, that I came in second.

The show placed the CEO in the Hooter’s Fort Worth store in which the manager was really attractive. My girlfiend lives in Fort Worth and by having told her this (and subsequently writing it here), I believe a visit to that store is no longer in the cards.

I guffawed when a girl asked if they could turn the air conditioning down. I have always noticed that the temperature in a Hooter’s is damn near arctic and have always hypothesized that it is for the sake of inducing erect nipples.

On second thought, other Hooter’s locations have various games. My friend and I played Chubby Bunny at a Hooter’s in Austin for 5 free wings. He won, whereas I think I came in second or third.

Nuggets of Advice

Every year McDonald’s offers a 50 McNugget bucket (or tote) at a very attractive price point. It is always in conjunction with the Super Bowl and probably meant to be enjoyed as a finger food at viewing parties. But, if you are irresponsible like me, it’s more of a personal challenge. Every year I look forward to the Super Bowl. And every year I spoil my mood by attempting to eat 50 McNuggets.

There is no doubt that my ritual is unhealthy. But it is my choice. McDonald’s is not responsible for serving me so much for such a small price. No, I was the one that abused this right. Not that I’ve suffered any real repercussions, save for general disgust.

To my enjoyment, I read  Chuck Klosterman’s own personal Nugget challenge. For one week, he ate nothing but McNuggets. He felt lethargic and disgusting. Yet, medically it caused him to gain only 1 pound and his blood pressure and cholesterol declined. It all lead him to call bullshit on Morgan Spurlock’s “Super Size Me” about a decade later when he interviewed him.

So if I suddenly get sick from my gorging, it is my fault and my fault only. Please donate my body to science.

Hello, Dead Pixel

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

The Genealogy of a Facebook Meme

If you’ve logged on to Facebook this week, you may have noticed the influx of profile pictures switched from folk’s normal visages to those of celebrities.  Well, it’s Celebrity Doppelganger Week! And like most social networking memes, finding the originator proves to be quite difficult.

Some joker is inevitably going to come out with some story about how he came up with the meme at his office when someone told him he looked just like Mike “The Situation” and he changed his profile picture to reflect that and inevitably sparked a revolution.

But I have it on good record that in January of 2009 (MLK Day), I attempted to trigger this exact meme in order to combat the influx of invites to eat at KFC. Yup, just check the Jeff Goldblum photo that I originally posted on January 19, 2009. You can even search and see my friends who followed suit with their Eva Angelina, Lou Diamond Phillips and Julianne Moore photos.

Of course, I’m not taking credit since my attempt was an epic fail, there’s no real glory in creating a meme, and this meme is so simple that Mike “The Situation” could have come up with it. Memes take time to go viral at the exponential rate. Since I designated it only as one day and was not patient enough to let it develop like this week had. I deserve no credit (except that of a civil rights activist. I mean, I did create it to combat racism on MLK day and the day before Barack Obama’s inauguration.)

Regardless of motives, the meme is all in good fun, and at the worst, it taught people the word doppelganger.

Finding the Silver Lining in Haiti

My heart goes out to all of the Haitians. Recovery is a tough uphill battle and certainly is not any easier when 30 to 40 percent of your government’s budget is from foreign aid.

Is it not inspiring to see the world come together and raise money and awareness of one of the most impoverished Nations in the World? Sure, we could probably have gone without unreleased tracks from Linkin’ Park being released to raise funds. Instead we have gotten to use SMS as a fundraiser. (Text “Haiti” to 90999 for a $10 donation to the Red Cross to be assessed on your next phone bill) We have gotten to be inspired by the Arcade Fire’s website redesigned to support all things Haiti relief.

Perhaps Haiti can look to New Orleans and their path to recovery after Hurricane Katrina. While NOLA’s spirits are back and partying has resumed, even those at the forefront of their lifted spirits, the New Orleans Saints are showing some solidarity. Saints starter Jonathan Vilma is trying to raise funds for his parents native country with shirts called “Domeland Defense.” And on the opposite side of the Super Bowl is Colt’s wide receiver Pierre Garcon, who has carried the Haitian flag in recent victories.

There is silver lining in knowing that people are not inherently heartless bastards. And in Haiti, the Longhorns are the National Champs.

Something Corporate

It pains me to admit that it took me to my sixth year of living in Austin to finally rent at I Luv Video.

With Netflix on my computer and Xbox, the Blockbuster Total Access I’ve been meaning to cancel, BitTorrent and RedBox all at my disposal, why on Earth would I dare set foot into an independent video store?

My previous experiences at I Luv Video have been trolling it to kill time. I had either purchased a snow cone from Casey’s New Orleans Snow Balls or it was my designated place to meet up with someone on craigslist to make an exchange. (Tickets for money or vice versa, not any of that casual encounters bull.) I would walk around and browse, take note of all of the awesome films I wasn’t watching and then leave with the latest copy of The Onion. I was a video store tease.

Now a few weeks back myself, my girlfriend, Bobby and his girlfriend  were stuck behind a car that was turning into the I Luv Video on Airport rather slowly. This prompted my girlfriend to utter, “Look, you either heart video or you don’t.” Everyone proceeded to laugh for a while and I got to enjoy one of those moments where I would gladly bow to a crowd and proceed to exclaim that she was proudly my girlfriend. This tangent is quite silly, I know, and the hyperbole over a comment that is witty to myself and those in the car and most likely not playing well in this text is relevant, I promise.

Well, ever since that incident, I kept hearing the comment over and over again. I would pass the store on the way home or I would see an ad in an Alamo Drafthouse pamphlet and I would chuckle to myself.

So when I had to let go of some Yo La Tengo tickets, I made my rendezvous point I Luv Video. And to kill some time, I began to browse the store. But my girlfriend’s voice was like my conscience. (We did actually have a phone exchange while I was in the store but not once did either of us mention the comment.)

But still, I either heart video or I don’t. I had never given them a dime and they had given me a well tempered place to giggle at adult film titles. I was clearly in the latter position. So this time I rented a movie. This time I decided to buy local.

Some of my favorite movies take place in independent businesses where the characters act like unappreciated scholars despite their superior knowledge in some sort of trivial medium. The guys at the store looked it. Their staff picks were supported by their self-indulgent commentary. Yet, the Blockbuster I would go to was staffed by peers of mine that were actually trying to become media scholars. The guys who love the late hours and have the largest spectrum of taste know more. The people with the degrees to prove they are scholars, well, they’re ok with peddling the next straight-to-DVD installments of Bring it On or American Pie. (Occasionally they’d try to get you to rent Dexter or Mad Men.)

rofl, I think I could get this replaced for free.

So when I was asked that if I wanted to waive my $2.50 membership fee in exchange for destroying something corporate, I gladly destroyed my Blockbuster card. All of this to prove that I did, in fact, heart video.

Stray Observations:

I don’t know who in their buying department found it necessary to have most of the installments of Anal Teen Tryouts. Even funnier was that their were multiple copies of the 15th installment as though it was in high demand.

I wonder how much they would have given me if I’d set fire to a RedBox machine.

They have free beer on Tuesdays. I would love some company to have some brew and rent a flick.